[Heading in Ch. 1]
10. In Which A Place is Learned


Long into the night, once I had gone to sleep, Clow held his key in the palm of
his hand. The small sun fell on its broken chain and Clow picked it up softly.
My words were not the ones that echoed in his own mind. He stirred and sad on
the side of the bed, watching me from the corner of his eye for a second.

Loyalty had been a given.

Adoration he had expected.

Trust he had counted for.

Love? Surprising, but still not totally unexpected.

Rebellion? Jaw-droppingly impossible. But, it had happened.

Clow stood and stepped over towards the desk and sighed as the darkness of the
moonless night seemed to close around him. None of the cards had ever thought of
disobeying him. Keroberos had never thought of disobeying him. I had not only
thought, but had time to spare to plan and execute an operation of immense
proportions.

Clow rummaged in the desk for a second and small chain, tossing out the one I’d
broken and threading on the new one before placing it around his neck. He
pondered for a moment and came up with no answers to the problem.

I stirred in my sleep and rolled over in the bed a moment before sensing
something amiss. My eyes opened gently and I patted the side of the bed,
touching the faint warmth. I looked up and saw Clow standing by the window, the
black of the night framed by his dark robes.

“Master?” I called softly and I saw him sigh. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m deciding what to do about something,” he whispered. “I think I have failed
you.”

I sat up on the bed and focused on him for a moment. He looked torn and then his
brows narrowed as he seemed to come to a decision.

“Yue, what are you?” he asked as he focused on me. The gaze seemed to tear
through me and I looked away.

“Answer me,” he ordered softly and I felt the magic that made up my soul demand
a response.

“A guardian,” my voice sounded hoarse as I admitted it and for a moment I
wondered why.

“What am I?” the same commanding, calculating voice.

“Master,” I intoned and then I saw what he was getting at and stared at the
object around Clow’s neck. His key. That I had taken from him. “There’s going to
be punishment, isn’t there?”

Clow met my eyes and said nothing.

“You hurt me first,” I said softly.

“That’s not the point, Yue. Don’t you understand? I may love you with all the
realm of my heart, but you are still a guardian and I am still the Master. There
is nothing that can change that. I am sorry that all of this had to happen to
being with, my jewel,” he said slowly. “I hurt you, yes, but I also made you.
You are my creation. Whether I love you or hate you is of no consequence, you
are mine. By my magic alone do you live and breathe, Yue.”

The words felt like a slap to the face and I moved away from him, not looking at
him. My hair, unbound, covered me and shielded my body from his all-knowing
stare and I bit my lip as I backed up. I hit the wall and slid down it, falling
to a heap on the floor.

“My mind is mine,” I hissed as I covered my face with my hands. He stepped
closer to me and I saw the belt wrapped around his fist and glanced at him,
calculating my chances at reaching the window or door-

[No chance.]
Don’t sound so happy.

“What are you, Yue?” Clow asked softly, he wrapped part of the belt around his
fist and I felt my wings being summoned. I stiffened as I was forced to stand
and turn by the magic that whirled around me.
“Someone you hurt!” I yelled into the wall and I felt the belt come crashing
down upon my body. I felt my skin redden as the stinging pain ran up the backs
of my legs. I almost whimpered, but the anger in my heart stole the sound from
me.

Clow said nothing and simply repeated the action against my lower back, drawing
a gasp from me as I tried to shrink away from the action and was forced to hold
still by the magic that still seemed to have a hold on me.

“Afraid to see me Clow?” I mocked. “Can’t you look me in the face as you hurt
me?”

The leather came down once again and this time I couldn’t talk and I realized
that me facing the wall was not for his own benefit- but for mine. I felt the
humiliation of tears as the soft trails of wet reddened my face and heard a sob
escape my lips.

Crack. I felt blood trail down my legs after about the tenth hit and stared at
the silver pools as the trails made their way down my body. My whole being shook
as the pain wracked me and I felt screams begin to leave my throat as wounds
were reopened and fire lanced down my thighs.

“What are you, Yue?” Clow repeated, a hurt forming in his voice and I knew that
he was crying.

“A guardian!” I screamed, I cried, I sobbed.

“What is your duty?”

CRACK.

“To protect the cards! Protect your cards! Protect you! Please, I’ll say
anything- just s.t.o.p!” I said, panic beginning to well up in my mind as I saw
the amount of blood that laced from me.

All was fire.

All continued to be fire.

“What is forbidden to you?” he asked softly. “That you knew from the beginning.
Make aloud the unspoken rules.”

“I don’t know! I don’t know!” I screamed, my voice seemingly hoarse. The crack
returned and I screamed as this time it descended upon my wings. The pain roared
as the thin bones of my wings snapped under the force. He was using Power. He
was using Power. He’s going to cripple me!

Feathers fell like snowflakes.

And, then it came to me. The magic seemed to bring the words and I screamed out
the knowledge the moment it was revealed to me, “One: I am not to use magic
against the Master or the Master’s guardians. Two: I am not to take the Master’s
key or staff. Three: I am not to alter my form in any way. Four: I am to protect
both the cards and Master to the extent of self-sacrifice but never to the
sacrifice of an innocent. Five: I am not to use the cards against the Master or
other guardian. I am only to use the cards under my protection at need.”

“There are more Yue,” Clow said softly and the fire returned again, this time
gentler, if such an act could be called gentle.

“Idon’tknowIdon’tknowIdon’tknowIdon’tknow,” I chanted. My mind was far too gone
to comprehend what was happening or to what the magic offered in salvation.
“Just make it stop!”

“Six: I am to obey the Master unquestioningly. Orders are to the Master’s
discretion or at the call of duty or decency,” Clow intoned softly and then the
fire stopped momentarily, leaving nothing but a stinging pain. “Seven: I am to
be loyal to my creator.”

It stopped.

I felt him behind me and I sobbed, the magic barely able to hold me up as I
cried. He touched my shoulder gently and turned me around. I felt like a child,
a child with a new understanding of something that had seemed complex.

“As I said before, Yue- that I love you changes nothing. I always loved you.
However, you are my guardian and I am your Master. You have a duty to follow my
orders,” he said softly, and I felt him against my neck and shuddered.

“Are you going to unmake me?” I asked, fear evident in my voice as my eyes
widened.

“No,” Clow said and shook his head sadly. “You are my child. I may punish you
when you do something wrong, but does that mean that I do not love you? No. My
heart is poisoned with you, Yue. I could never destroy you.”

“You hurt me,” I said dumbly, turning around. My broken wings fell against the
floor and the simple motion forced a cry from me. “Stop the pain?”

Master seemed to be unable to look at my tear-streaked face as he drew a card
from his pocket and flicked it into the air, calling his staff to him. I was
deaf to the words, it seemed, and then I felt the magic of the Return coat me.
My body seemed to heal and come together as I had been before punishment, but my
skin still danced with a throbbing pain. All the rebellion and anger that had
lay in my heart seemed to have drained from me and now all I wanted was one
thing.

“Hold me?”

“Who am I?” he asked instead, pocketing the Return and placing the key once more
around his neck.

“God,” was all I could get out and he looked at me lovingly as his warm body
wrapped slowly around mine in a firm embrace. He kissed the side of my face and
stroked my collarbone.

“No. Only Master,” he whispered as he kissed my hair. I looked at him, my eyes
feeling with tears as I grabbed onto him for all that I was worth.

“I manipulated you,” I said, pressing my lips against him. “I’m sorry... I’m so
sorry.”

Clow seemed stunned at the response and then nodded, once more sure of himself.
He touched my shaking form and felt my bare skin for a second and then said
quietly, “Sometimes we need to learn our place in life even if it seems that it
wasn’t where we were meant to be. It is I that should be apologizing to you for
the disloyalty that lay in my heart as well.”

“Perhaps we should both be loyal as well as loving,” I said, as I placed my ear
at his heart and listened to the reassuring beat. He said nothing and we held
eachother as the moon set and I slowly drifted into sleep. I heard his last
words in my ear faintly: “If you ever get lost again, my moon, look for my
star.”
-End Ch. 10-