[Heading in Ch. 1]

14. In Which Pain becomes Love

We stepped out of the cold together; both of us shaking the winter cold from our
bodies as we clung to eachother for warmth. For me it was more of a convenience.
The cold didn’t really bother me, but it was nice to feel his warmth. It was
nice to feel his love.

“Do you think we’ve settled things?” Clow asked softly as we entered his study
and he bent, beginning to light a fire. I watched him for a moment as he fiddled
with flint and cursed before reaching for The Firey.

“Is anything really ever settled?” I shot back, a slight smile quirking up at
the corners of my lips. Then, I softened my words with hope, “Maybe this time
we’ll get it right.”

“I think its a wonderful beginning,” Clow offered, rubbing his hands as the
flames started to lick at the wood sending shadows flirting about the room.

“Even if you died you couldn’t escape my love,” I laughed softly, the foreign
noise sounding strange in my throat.

“Don’t joke of things like that, Yue,” Clow said softly. I felt his hands run
through my hair, moving to stroke high cheekbones and pale skin. I leaned into
his touch and felt like a large, fattened cat in front of a fire.

“I’m sorry,” I said. The words were quite mumbled by a slight whimper as his
hands left me and the warmth disappeared as he stood. How was it possible that
with him, every touch became erotic no matter how chaste?

Suddenly, I became determined. I was tired of this confusion of where the
boundaries lay between Master and Guardian. Tonight, I would blur the
boundaries. Stepping closer, I stood behind him. I leaned upward onto my
tip-toes and kissed the side of his neck my teeth nipping softly at the skin. I
felt a gasp escape him as he turned around to face me, his eyes questioning.

“You’re wearing entirely too much clothes,” I said, keeping my voice soft and
warm. He looked like a mouse caught in the overhead shadow of an owl and I felt
confidence soar into me with the thought. He was the one being seduced tonight.

“Yue?” he asked, clearly speechless.

“Less talking,” I replied as I pressed myself against him. I felt his chair
against my back and nearly fell into it as my lips sought his. For a moment, it
was a still kiss, my lips brushing softly against my Masters. Then, he took the
initiative as he always has and deepened the kiss. It turned searching and warm
as I felt his hands wrap around my form, my own tucked securely behind his neck.
Tasting the depths of my mouth, I felt his tongue parry mine. He carressed the
side and I felt dizzy for a moment until he pulled away of his own accord.

“You taste like moonflowers,” he whispered against my ear before he probed it
with his tongue. I felt myself jump as he nibbled softly and then nuzzled
against the side of my neck.

“You’ve eaten moonflowers?” I asked, clearly shocked at the implications as I
smiled, wrapping my hands around him and tugging at his clothes.

“Don’t be smart,” he said laughing and I moved my hands upward, beginning to tug
at his robes. He stepped away from me and let each piece of clothing drop to the
floor with a tantalizing slowness. I leaned against the study’s chair and
groaned with impatience.

Clow stepped closer to me and I stood, my hands reaching out to undo the ties
that bound his hair. It lay, ebony tendrils curling about his shoulders as I ran
my hands through it. Then, to my surprise, Clow caught my hand. For a moment he
seemed to examine it and I blushed at the study.

“You’re beautiful,” my Master whispered and I felt his hands slowly remove the
purple sash that was tied around the long coat at my wasit. I watched dimmly as
it dropped to the floor, fighting to pay attention as I found that all I could
do was feel. My long coat fell to the floor and my hands felt eerily bare as he
unwrapped the cloth that hung over my arm and let it drop to the floor. The
jewelled garmet underneathe disappeared a moment later, purple gem clinking
against the wooden floor as I stood there in white leggings.

I felt strangely exposed, even though this wasn’t completely unfamiliar
territory. He tugged at the hem of my leggings and I kicked my sandles off
wordlessly. Clow’s hands eased under the material and I moaned softly as he
stroked the insides of my thighs. Then, I pushed him away.

“Too fast?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“No,” I said softly. “I just... I need to be in control of what happens... do
you understand?”

Clow nodded wordlessly and I felt a sudden boldness creep up my form. My eyes
narrowed slightly and I pushed him back into his chair. This, of course,
delighted him and I laughed slightly, relaxing as I crawled forward into his
lap. I felt my kisses alight upon his body, covering his neck. I sucked hard and
he pushed against me, fighting to capture my mouth.

He succeeded and I felt an insatiable hunger blossom from him as his lips sought
out mine. I felt his sweat against my body; painfully human and felt a moan
escape from my chest as he reached down and fondled me slowly.

“Do we continue from where we left off... that night long ago?” Clow asked, his
voice husky and his eyes clouded softly with desire.

“I have a few conditions,” I laughed, my voice sounding boyish compared to his
deeper tones.

“Anything,” he whispered as he sucked gently on my chest, I was lost for a
moment as I grabbed onto him- whining softly as he retreated.

“I know you’re creating a book. I don’t want to be on it as I look. Come up with
something else. I don’t want an angel on the book because I’m not an angel,” I
said softly, my fingers trailing up his chest as I stroked each muscle, my nails
digging into his skin. “I’m exactly what I’m supposed to be.”

He gasped and nodded dumbly.

I pressed myself against him and moaned at the contact, feeling his back arch as
he fought to press back against me. My hair draped over his form and I brushed
it behind me, the tie falling to floor as I squirmed in anticipation.

And, then he was wordless as I pressed his fingers downwards, beyond my belly
and continuing on. My eyes said all that he needed to know. He eased a finger
inside me and I slowly thrust downwards on it, my eyes watering slightly at the
pain as muscles slowly loosened. I moaned as another finger entered my body and
bit my lip softly, exhaling. Clow stroked my hair with his other hand as he
flexed the fingers inside me: loosening, stroking, caressing.

I closed my eyes as his fingers withdrew and felt him line up against my
opening. I sighed, looking down at him as I slowly lowered myself. He pressed
into me and my eyes widened at the pain. I felt him stroke my cheeks, incoherent
words of love reaching my ears as I felt the burning pain slowly give way to
some impossible ecstacy.

Then, I began slowly withdrawing and lowering. I felt my hand clasp against
Clow’s and screamed his name as I felt him begin rocking into me, slowly back
and forth. His eyes, so painfully human, never left mine for a moment and all I
could see within them was the look of lust, the look of love.

Suddenly, I felt my wings burst from my back of their own accord and cursed my
lack of self-control. Clow was too preoccupied to notice and I wrapped my wings
protectively around him, brushing snow colored feathers against sensitive skin.
I moaned, sucking my breath in sharply, as I screamed- passion slamming into me
with abandon as my muscles clenched around the body of my Master. This was
enough and he came, screaming my name as he grasped me firmly. He was shaking
and as I pulled him from my body I crawled next to him. “Are you alright? Did I
do something wrong?” I kissed his cheeks softly. “Didn’t it feel good?”

Clow laughed and kissed me, “I love you, Yue.” My confusion faded in the
afterglow as I saw that he was shaking with exhaustion and not pain and I curled
up against him.

“Can we do this tomorrow night?” I whispered and I was met with soft laughter.
“Everynight if you wish.”
-End Ch. 14-