[Heading in Ch. 1]


9. In Which a Love is Declared and a Book Discovered

“I can’t believe it’s already another year,” Touya said as he pulled up to me on
his bike. The tires skidded in the flashes of amber under them and I heard the
sound of Touya putting on the brakes. I reached up to the newly falling leaves
that signaled that September was well on its way.

“I’m glad it’s another year,” I said optimistically, hopping on the back of
Touya’s bike. As usual, he waited until my arms were safely around him before
starting off down the path away from the school.

“At least we got the same classes again,” Touya said, tossing his hair so that
it flung into my face.

“Watch it,” I said, grabbing onto him tighter so that I wouldn’t fall off.

“Oof! I’m trying to navigate here,” Touya hacked out and I loosened my grip, a
smile curving up on the corner of my lips. Suddenly, Touya stopped.

“I thought we were going to go to your house to wait for your sister to return
from cheerleading practice to see how it went?” I asked, confusion wracking my
features.

“I need to talk to you, Yuki.”

Oh no. Something important.

I eased my arms from around his waist and got off of the bike. He followed my
example and leaned the bike against the cherry tree, sitting down on the bench
with his head in his hands.

“Yuki, I gotta tell you this because it’s eating me alive,” he whispered slowly
and he turned his face away from me.

“You can tell me anything, Touya... what’s wrong?” I asked softly, I sat down on
the bench and wrapped my arm around his shoulder, holding him as he shook for a
second. “Alright now?”

Touya nodded slowly and I brushed a tendril of dark hair from his eyes and said
softly, “Did someone die?”

“No. Nothing bad, Yuki. At least, I don’t think it’s bad,” he whispered. “It
could be bad, though.”

“Well, you know you can tell me anything,” I said slowly.

“Can I show you?” Touya asked timidly.

I nodded slowly and he reched up to take my glasses from my face. A moments
confusion flared in my eyes, but I didn’t have time to ponder it as he closed
the distance between us. The warmth from his body surrounded me and I felt
myself frozen. His lips hovered a millimeter from mine and then, hesitatingly,
he bent to capture mine. I felt a warmth and marvelled that Touya truly did
taste like peaches as his lips brushed against mine, chaste for a moment, and
then pressing more firmly. I wrapped my arms around him and he pulled me closer
as my hands rested comfortably against his neck.

I felt his arm slowly wrap around my back as he deepened the kiss, his tongue
prodding gently against my mouth and I felt myself give him access- not sure
why- but doing it just the same. The kiss ended and for a moment I said nothing,
and simply savored it.

“I love you too, Touya.”

Touya looked utterly surprised, as if that hadn’t been the answer he’d been
expecting and then smiled. He brushed my hair away from my eyes and kissed my
forehead softly, tracing my cheek with a finger. I nipped the finger and then
smiled at him, reclaiming my glasses.

“Your sister is going to be worried,” I pointed out.

Touya bristled, “Kaijuu.”

“Sister complex, To-ya,” I laughed.

-`-

I stared at the burns that laced up my hands from where I’d touched Clow’s key
and then at the cuts on my wrists and palms and sighed. Nowhere was hurt more
than my heart. I left the key where it was and pulled my knees to my chest.

I didn’t want to be here.

There was nowher else to go.

“I, Yue, release the card under my protection- Lock,” I whispered and I felt the
magic wards guarding the door drop and the card fall into my lap. I kicked it
away from me and stared at the silver speckled robes in my lap. My face burned
and I knew that there was glass in it.

I needed help. If I didn’t get the glass out of my face it would get infect. I
stared at my useless hands and felt a hiccupped sob escape my throat. Clenching
my teeth and hiding my pride I mewed softly (with as much dignity as possible),
“Clow?”

No response.

“Clow?” I said a little louder. No one. He wouldn’t help me. He wouldn’t help
me. He wouldn’t help me. He wouldn’t help me. He wouldn’t help me.

I cried myself to sleep chanting that phrase.

-`-

Kinomoto Sakura was getting a little nervous. She clutched her cheerleading
baton to her chest and opened the door that lead to the basement nervously. It’s
just the furnice, right? Right. Stepping down towards the darkness below, Sakura
was surprised at the faint golden glow that seemed to illuminate the area. She
padded through the library, her baton held high, shaking in her shoes and then
jumped behind the last column of books.

“Gotcha!” she yelled and then stared perplexed. Nothing was there! Sakura stared
around and noticed that the same golden glow that surrounded everything was
here, too... and it seemed to be coming from a certain book. Pulling the book
from the bookcase, she sighed happily as she looked at the cover, “What a cool
book!”

“Hey, squirt, I’m home!” a voice called from the foyer upstairs and Sakura
grabbed the book, running upstairs with all her might.

“Touya! This book is making noise and- YUKI!” she yelped happily, turning red
instantly and dropping the book as her vision fixed on me. I waved and closed
the door behind me slowly, taking my shoes off and placing them neatly next to
Touya’s.

“Sakura, you’re not supposed to be in dad’s library. Give me the book or I’ll
have to tell dad you were going through his things,” Touya said and offered his
hand out. Sakura looked downcast and handed the book to Touya, scuffing her feet
against the floor. I reshouldered my bookbag and smiled.
“How was cheerleading practice, Sakura?” I asked, effortlessly changing the
subject and tearing my gaze away from the book in
Touya’s hands.

“It was wonderful Yukito-san! Are you here to study with my brother?” she said,
a questioning look on her face. “If so, I’ll put the book back.”

Touya looked at his sister strangely and tilted his head, “It’s okay, Kaijuu, I
got it. We’ll be upstairs.”

Sakura stomped on Touya foot h.a.r.d.

“Fine! Take the silly book!” she mumbled and bolted into the kitchen. “I’m going
to make Yukito-san a sandwhich.”

I hid a laugh from my hand as I watched Touya hop around the room, clutching his
foot and picked the book up for him. It felt strange in my hands and I stared at
the back of it for a second, taking my glasses off to peer closer, “This thing
is awfully strange Touya.”

“Let’s go look at it upstairs,” Touya whispered, leading the way up the stairs.

-`-

I felt someone touching my hand and whined softly as the cuts on my fingers were
reopened. I screamed softly as the long shards of glass were plucked from them
and cleaned methodically and it was then that I opened my eyes.

“Shh, Yue. Shh,” a familiar voice whispered and I looked up, meeting Clow’s eyes
softly before tackling him in a fierce hug.

“You came back,” I whispered grabbing onto him with all that I was worth, my
kisses alighting the side of his face. He pushed me down gently and stared at me
thoughtfully as he spread an ointment on my burns.

“I never left. Yet... how you can want me to come back is beyond me, Yue.”

“I love you,” I said simply and he bowed his head in acknowledgement. My voice
sounded meek, as if being a few hours without him had wrecked me.

“I love you more than anything,” he said, not meeting my eyes. “That shard of
glass is going to have to come out,” he whispered softly and pulled out a small
knife, opening the skin quickly. I held as still as possible as I watched and
whimpered as he eased the long piece from my face and placed it in a basket that
was pull of all the other shards.

I said nothing and just folded my wings closer to me as he removed my bloodied
clothes and replaced them with a clean spair. Then, he tucked me into bed and
crawled in next to me. Not touching me.

“You still don’t get it, do you?” I asked, focusing on him- amber eyes meeting
ebony.

“I don’t know everything, Yue.”

“I’m not some creature you fashioned to do whatever you want. I have feelings,
in case you hadn’t noticed. I gave you my heart and you broke it the first time
someone questioned the quality of my love,” I said softly as I crawled closer to
him.

He said nothing as my arms wrapped around him.

“I forgive you Clow,” I said.

“Thank you, Yue,” he said as he eased into sleep. That hadn’t been the answer
I’d been looking for. I was still plagued by a hoarde of nightmares. As he
snored in the night, I watched the moonrise and contemplated.

[Now the question is Yue... is this still part of a game?]
He loves me.
[Such a pretty play-thing.]
I’m not a toy.
[Did that sting?]
He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.
[Ahh. Do you ever think about where he really goes when he’s not with you, Yue?
Afterall, he’s always talking about his infernal next generation... you don’t
think that next generation is coming from YOU do you?]
Stop laughing at me.
[There’s someone else Yue.]
No.
[Like I said, you’ll do a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g he w.a.n.t.s]
Stop it.
[I know. The truth is a frustrating thing.]
You’re lying.
[What happens to you when he doesn’t want you anymore, Yue? What happens when he
wants more than just a blow job after the moon rises?]
I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know.
[Well, at least you love him, right?]

         -End Ch. 9-